How to Practice Self Care When You Have a Toddler

As a mum of a toddler, finding time for yourself can feel like an impossible challenge. However, with a little focus on routine and self-care, it’s absolutely achievable. Let’s start by nailing that all-important bedtime routine, which benefits not just your toddler, but you too.

Nail the Bedtime Routine

Bedtimes can be tricky, and by the end of a long day with a toddler, they might feel like the last thing you want to face. But trust me—they’re worth the effort. A consistent bedtime routine is powerful because it taps into the science of how our brains work. Humans are naturally habitual; we thrive on routines because they create a sense of safety and predictability.

Historically, routine was essential for survival—our ancestors relied on regular, predictable behaviours to keep them safe. In modern times, we still have that part of our brain (the basal ganglia) which helps us form habits, making routine incredibly effective, particularly for young children. If you create a calm, repetitive set of steps leading towards bedtime, your little one is more likely to settle and drift off without too much fuss.

For example: after dinner, head upstairs, dim the lights, enjoy a calming bath, give them a gentle massage, get into pyjamas, share a story, and then have a final cuddle or song before bed. This simple flow becomes familiar and soothing for your toddler, signalling that it’s time to sleep.

That being said, routines can sometimes hit a rough patch. If things stop working, don’t be afraid to switch it up for a few days. Try reading a book downstairs first or changing the order of things slightly. Be patient—give any new routine at least three days before you decide whether it’s working or not.

Make Time for You

Once the bedtime routine is in place, it’s time to focus on yourself. As soon as they’re down, take a moment for your own evening ritual. Start by having a shower, change into something comfy, and spend a little time on skincare. Then, take three long, deep breaths. As you exhale, imagine blowing away the stress of the day. As you inhale, picture a place that makes you feel happy and calm.

If you have a little extra time, grab a notebook or use the notes section on your phone to jot down a few things that made you smile today. It could be something small, like a shared giggle with your toddler or a moment of quiet. This simple practice helps shift your focus to the positives, something you can return to when you’re feeling overwhelmed in the future.

Why This Routine is Self-Care

This evening routine isn’t just about winding down—it’s about carving out intentional space for you. Taking just 10 minutes at the end of each day to regroup will make a huge difference in how you approach the next day with your toddler. For me, in the early years of parenting, I often found myself triggered by the smallest things. Much of that was down to giving everything to my children without giving enough to myself.

We all carry our own history, our past experiences, and the messages that have shaped our subconscious. These can impact the way we behave, especially under stress. It’s easy to get frustrated when we lose our cool or feel like we’re not doing things ‘right.’ And with social media constantly showcasing what looks like perfect parenting, the pressure can feel overwhelming. But I promise you—no one is getting it right all the time.

Self-care as a mum isn’t always about indulgent moments away from your children (though those are important too!). Sometimes, self-care is about nailing the small routines, like bedtime, that create a sense of order and calm. This routine helps your toddler feel safe and secure, which in turn releases positive hormones that support their development. More importantly, it gives you that much-needed space to reconnect with yourself, so you can continue being the best, most present version of yourself for your family.

Parenting is a journey that requires constant adjustment, but by building moments of self-care into your day, especially around routines like bedtime, you’ll find a healthier balance. It’s in these small pockets of time that you can rediscover the ‘you’ beyond the role of mum, making it easier to face the next day with renewed energy and patience.