Lessons from being a Mum

When people see me and my knowledge, they often assume that I’ve mastered the whole parenting thing. I think it’s easy for them to look at my background and think, “Yes, she’s got this. She knows exactly what she’s doing.” In fact, when I was pregnant with Ozzie, that’s almost all I heard. “You’re going to be amazing! You’ve had so much practice. It’ll be a breeze for you with all your experience.” While I appreciated the encouragement, it felt overwhelming. It was as if people expected me to breeze through the whole process without a hitch.

To be fair, on paper, I can see why they’d think that. I’ve spent years working as a nanny, trained as a teacher, and was even pursuing my master’s in psychology. So yes, I had plenty of experience with children. But the reality of becoming a parent myself couldn’t have felt more different. Rather than feeling calm and confident, I was stressed, confused, and on edge—constantly. The pressure was immense, especially since everyone around me seemed to believe I had it all figured out. I set really strict boundaries, and everyone in my family knew not to cross them. I was intense and rigid in those early years, determined to maintain control.

But, over time, things have shifted. I’ve softened. I’ve started to give myself more room to make mistakes, to breathe, and to ease into the chaos that is parenting. Part of this shift came as Ozzie grew older and as we faced new challenges that I hadn’t anticipated. It might have also been influenced by turning 30 and reflecting on where I was in life. I don’t know exactly what prompted the change, but I do know that I’m not the same person I was when I started this journey six years ago.

In fact, the past six years have brought more personal growth than any other time in my life. I’ve learned so much—about myself, about children, and about my relationship with my husband. And I’m still learning every day. But what’s really amazing right now is that I feel like I’m starting to relax into it all. I’m gaining clarity, and most importantly, I’m rediscovering the joy of simply being with my kids.

There have been times when the thought of spending the entire day together felt like a nightmare. I’d get tense just thinking about it and would do anything to make other plans. It’s been quite a journey—something I say often—but it’s true. Going back to an office job for a while really helped me heal. It reminded me that I’m more than just a mum. I’m a person with my own likes and dislikes, and that’s perfectly okay. For someone who spent years as a people pleaser, this realisation was huge. Now, those days with my kids feel more meaningful and less stressful.

Therapy has played a huge role in this transformation as well. I’ve been going for a few years now, and it’s helped me get out of my own head, to stop drowning in anxiety and overthinking every little thing. That doesn’t mean I’ve got it all figured out, though. I still lose my temper sometimes, I still shout, and things don’t always come out the way I intend. But I’m learning to relax, to breathe more, and to step back from needing to control everything. These are small, daily steps, but they’re helping. And I’m proud of the mum I’m becoming and the children I’m raising.

As I reflect on the last six years, I’m starting to realise the valuable lessons parenting has taught me:

• Taking time for myself and understanding who I am isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

• It’s okay to make mistakes—I’m not going to get it right all the time, and that’s fine.

• Being a gentle and conscious parent is about much more than just the words I say.

• Deep breaths weren’t just useful during labour—they’ve been my saving grace time and time again and will continue to be.

• Children are truly incredible. Their minds are some of the most fascinating things on this planet. They constantly surprise me, make me smile, and I’ll always be here to support them in growing into their own magic, their power, and who they truly are.

  
  

I’m lucky to be their mum, and I’ll continue working on myself to be the best version of me—for them and for myself. I hope some of this might resonate with you, we are this journey together and I am always hear to listen. For now, go on, sit down, take five and have a cuppa for me!

Katy x